Periodically, over the past week, I've struggled with mom and dad's deaths. Today is the one year anniversary of daddy dying and also this week, a year ago, was the last time I saw my mom. If I don't think too long about it..I'm fine. But when I stop and see Momma waving goodbye from the Luby's where we had that last Thanksgiving dinner...her favorite holiday, then it's hard. I've had more dreams lately, too. I still see daddy's face, when I was leaving after seeing them to say goodbye, before moving here. I know he knew it was our final goobye..I just know it. But I wouldn't go there...just couldn't. I really had no idea that last year was my final goodbye to mom.... Sometimes it is so stinkin' hard. You know? I thought maybe I would mark this day in some way...like sit at the beach and cry or something. Daddy loved the water and instilled that same love in each of us, but I didn't go today. Maybe another day...but not today. I'm glad the first year is over. The first birthday, and Christmas, and the kids birthdays and so on. Glad that's over. I guess I'll never know if the the hardest stuff last year was grief, culture shock or what...or both...both, I suppose.
This year has been much better....Thank the Lord. Good news coming from the States like new babies as well as a newly engaged nephew. That's nice. Makes me smile. And it's nice that we get to go see the Fords in December...and our friendships here continue to deepen. Yes. It is all good.
Just some days are hard..some days I want to tell them something...hear them laugh or say, "Hi honey."... "I love you, Matt." "How are the kids?" "Have you heard from your sister?" "We're watching JAG..." "Got a letter from your Aunt Sally. The kids are doing well." "Miss you sweetheart."
Me too...
